The timing of
the moments he is reproducing, while he seems to aim at
"redemption," is complex and, at least, threefold. There's
the recollection of a long past experience that was stimulated by
the "friendly abyss" he is then admiring. But there's also
the rendering of what is taking place right at the time when he is
writing his confessions behind bars. Perhaps he is
still fighting away the realization that the destruction
of Lolita's childhood was criminal in more senses than one
(not only Quilty's murder or driving on the wrong side of the road).
It's fairly
obvious that HH only became a victim of remorse
and guilt after he stopped seeing Lolita as a nymphet and
his wild urge was under restraint. The winding road he
takes in his first recollection, may transgress the
straight one, but it also runs in parallel to it
once in a while .However, after he kills Quilty, it's his car and his
thoughts that oscilate and turn a straight road into a
crooked.one (the image, not the spirit, is similar from Charles Kinbote's
reference, in PF, to the Biblical "the crooked made straight"
and a Daedalian plan).
My chronology may be incorrect It most
probably is - and it's a cold comfort to realize that this
is not unusual. with readers of HH's
confessions.
(we may even forget
that there's only his words to prove that Lolita
had always loved creepy and dissolute Quilty, making her
equally dissolute, even before she met HH). Right now this is as far as I
managed to go...
..........................................................................
*"... Alas, I was
unable to transcend the simple human fact that whatever spiritual solace I
might find, whatever lithophanic eternities might be provided for me, nothing
could make my Lolita forget the foul lust I had inflicted upon her. Unless it
can be proven to me — to me as I am now, today, with my heart and by beard,
and my putrefaction — that in the infinite run it does not matter a jot that a
North American girl-child named Dolores Haze had been deprived of her
childhood by a maniac, unless this can be proven (and if it can, then life is
a joke), I see nothing for the treatment of my misery but the melancholy and
very local palliative of articulate art. To quote an old
poet: The moral sense in mortals is the
duty/We have to pay on mortal sense of beauty."(The Annotated Lolita, page
282)