Thirlwell's translation:
"c’est une tâche inouïe, un labeur éreintant que de saisir les mots
médiocrement justes qui voudront bien venir vêtir ma pensée.”
"an exhausting labour simply to seize hold of the moderately precise
words
which clamour to clothe my thought.”
LH: Why use "clamour" to translate "voudront bien venir"? the meaning
is
very different: "clamour" implies that the words are noisily eager to
come
and clothe the thought, whereas "voudront bien venir" means that they
condescend to come ("...the words which will deign to clothe my
thought")
Thirlwell: "L’horloge abat les secondes à coups secs, avec une sorte de
soupir rauque au milieu, car elle est très vieille."
"The clock marks off / deletes the seconds with dry beats / chops, with
a
sort of ill exhalation in the middle, for it is very old"
LH:Why not keep the beautiful implied metaphor of Time as an old
headsman
or slaughterer or at least a lumberjack ?
"abattre" = "to slaughter" (animals in a slaughterhouse) to fell (a
tree,
an ox) ;
"chop" is good, as we can feel the axe;
"a sort of ill exhalation" for "une sorte de soupir rauque" is
questionable, too. A literal translation would give a "a sort of hoarse
sigh / exhalation"; "hoarse" would be more in keeping with the metaphor
of
the old slaughterer or lumberjack I propose the more literal "the clock
fells the seconds with dry chops, with a sort of hoarse exhalation in
the
middle, for it is very old."
Thirlwell: there was the man who operated the lift in their St.
Petersburg home—called by V.N. “le Suisse.” Which interested me because
Switzerland, in the piece, is a symbol of exile, and so it seemed
unlikely
that V.N. would have used the word without thinking, but on the other
hand
a Suisse is also slang in French for any kind of person who helps out
(it’s
even there in Shakespeare’s English, when in Hamlet Claudius asks for
his
bodyguards, his “Switzers”). I couldn’t gauge how far it was being used
literally or slangily: in the end, I went for “the man,” and D.N.
corrected
this to “the Swiss chap.”
LH: It isn't used slangily at all; it is classical French: a Suisse is
a
manservant , a footman at the entrance of a house (ex: Molière: Que
l'on
dise à mon Suisse qu'il ne laisse entrer personne; Tell my footman not
to
let anybody in). In the past, these footmen were chosen among the Swiss.
On the other hand, there were different sorts of Guards (such as the
Papal
Guard) which were composed of Swiss (as in Thirlwell's Shakespeare
example), but this has nothing to do with VN's text.
Thirlwell: but on the other hand a Suisse is also slang in French for
any
kind of person who helps out
LH: I've never heard or read "Suisse" used in this way, but of course,
it
might be correct. But there exist the slang (and racist) phrase "manger
/
boire en Suisse / en Juif" meaning to eat or drink alone, whithout
sharing
one's food or drink, like a Swiss or a Jew.
Laurence Hochard